Jealousy
by ChuddleyCanons
Summary: James thoughts on Lily's and Severus' friendship. I don't own anything. Complete.


Her relationship with Snivellus infuriated him. What did the little prat have that James Potter, Quiditch Star, not have? James was popular and could give Lily anything her large heart desired. But Snape? All he could give her was a potion. All he could do was curse James with a nasty curse.

He pounded his fist against the wall, his face glowering. It didn't make any sense. Sure, Snivellus had called Lily a mudblood numerous times, but yet she always had room in her heart to forgive him. But when James would fight for her, try to get her trust, save her, she would look down at him as if he was an irritating pebble.

He had always been hers. Always and will always be. He will always love her. The first time James had looked at her that way, it had been the first week back in the fifth year, while they had been sitting down at the table in the Great Hall. She had grown up in a beautiful way—even Sirius had commented on it, and he was always picky about girls.

Just the way her thick, lovely wavy red hair bounced in her high pony tail gave him the chills. The way her short cut sleeved shirt clung onto her body suitably made him want her to be all his.

Her thin shoulders, her heart wrecking smile; her brilliant emerald eyes. He wanted to embrace it all. He wanted her to be his, and no one else's. Maybe that was why James started to hate Snivellus even more. Because of the relationship he and Lily had.

But how could someone as _evil_ as Severus Snape be liked by the sweetest, most kind hearted person alive? It was wrong and disgusting. She shouldn't have a best friend like him. She should have a friend like what James has. Someone who could make her laugh, be her shoulder to cry on, and to love her.

And that was what James wanted to be.

But how could he be that when Lily couldn't even accept him as being a Gryffindor? Or even a classmate. She despised the whole lot of them. Marauders. That was his group. His friends. And she couldn't even accept him in that way.

Sure, they were a little childish. But James had grown up, in a way. He had stopped taunting Snivellus a little . . . and that was for her. His Lily. He had stopped cursing people in the hallways. Heck, he had even stopped pulling useless pranks.

It seemed as if all that mattered to him now was Lily Evans.

Lily Evans.

The name ringed in his ears as if it was a bell next to him. The name was a curse and a lovely token of James. It stung him every time Lily rejected him—it had pierced his heart in so many ways. But yet, he could never stop loving her. Maybe it was the way that she was stubborn about being protected; or that she could stick up for someone as low as Severus Snape.

She had a pure heart.

It killed James to even think about Lily being with someone else. Just when she saw Severus in the hallway, making helpless attempts of flirting with Lily made his fury reach a peak. Lily didn't realize it of course, but it still made James tremble with fury.

Lily had never had a boyfriend before. Or even a first kiss, or so he had heard. It had thrown him over the moon to hear such news. James wanted to be _that_ first boy she had decided on. He wanted to be _that_ first kiss. He wanted her in every way, and begged for her to want that, too.

But nothing worked that way with her. Nothing he could do would make her distinction of James Potter turn around. She didn't want someone like him—which had been a total rip at his ego—she hated anyone who acted like him. But she didn't, not really.

Snivellus was nearly his twin in all ways. He was arrogant; he broke rules, and fought James with the same fury he fought Snivellus with. But the only difference was how far they would go.

James would stop for Lily, but he knew that Snape wouldn't. He was a Slytherin. Someone who would join the bloody Death Eaters the moment he got out of school. James was sure he was excited to do that. He was just bloody _evil_, and Lily couldn't realize that.

He had pleaded with her to realize that, but her mind wouldn't work that way. Not to James, anyway. Or anyone else who would try to reason with her. Even Moony, who she had always been soft on, even after she found out about his furry little problem, couldn't reason with her.

"She won't change her mind about him, Prongs." Moony had said once, resting a hand on his shoulder. James had shrugged it off and stood up, almost ready to hit his mate in the face. Why wouldn't Moony try harder? She had to see that he wasn't what she saw through her eyes! Snivellus was a true monster!

James treaded through the crowded hallway. He wasn't going to mope, he had told himself, like he had all of the other times when he had let Snape get to him. He shouldn't be jealous of the little git. There was nothing to be jealous of.

There was, of course.

"The goddamn relationship!" he muttered, rubbing his temples. His jealousy had met one of his lower peaks, but he was sure if he saw Severus walking down his hallway, he would certainly pummel him to the ground. Lily there, or not.

"What was that, Prongs?"

James nearly groaned. If it was anybody who could make fun of him at this moment, it would be Padfoot. Sirius just didn't understand this sort of thing. Sure, he had one of his only girlfriends, but he didn't have to beg on his hands and knees like a puppy. Or did he have to play war with her every day just to get his attention.

"I said I'm tired." James stretched his arms and faked a yawn. Padfoot scrutinized him for only half a second before replying.

"Mate, when it comes to Lily you are a horrible liar." He patted his mate on the back and continued calmly, no hint of teasing in his voice. "I hate what she puts you through. I swear, there hasn't been one day where you haven't gotten out of bed and said 'Today she will be mine!'"

James snorted and shrugged off his mate's hand. "Well, things have changed. If you hadn't noticed, she bloody hates me. And every freaking habit I have." James challenged a smile. "I'm sure she even hates that I touch the Quaffle. Oh, and I'm sure she just despises my broomstick."

"Mate, she doesn't hate you that much. Think positive thoughts!" Padfoot sighed and nudged James a little. "I miss the old Prongs."

James was sure he did. But the only problem was that he wasn't sure he was there anymore. Lily had twisted him around her finger and then threw him on the ground. It pained him terribly.

"You know what I think will cheer you up?" Sirius said gleefully.

"What?"

"Tonight," Padfoot's eyes gleamed with excitement. "Is the full moon."

**A/N: Okay, so not too long. I hope I don't make Lily sound like the bad person. We never really know what goes on in James' head because usually everyone writes in Lily's POV . . . or at least I do—and read it too. So, this was a first for me.  
It would be lovely if you reviewed.  
~ChuddleyCanons~ **


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